Nobodies Halloween
by shiksa
Summary: Spooky eh? A halloween one shot I wrote like a week later haha. Supposed to be fuuuuunny so calm yourself! Please enjoy! Or try to at least! Rated T just in case cuz I don't remember exactly what I put in here.


HOLY HELL THIS TOOK FOREVER AND IT'S TOTALLY NOT HALLOWEEN ANYMORE BUT I DON'T CARE BECAUSE I WROTE IT AND I WANT IT TO BE READ!!

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Six teenagers sat around a bonfire, staring blankly into it's embers, watching the flames swirl around, dance in circles, hypnotize them with their orangey heat. Their cheeks began to flush, not only from the warmth of the fire, but from their memories of the last few days. Had it been days? Perhaps it was only hours. They couldn't really remember.

"What are we supposed to do..." Xion said quietly, wrapping her arms around her knees and pulling them up to her chest. She wiped at her eyes and bit down on her lip to keep it from quivering. She was beginning to think this weekend retreat wasn't such a hot idea.

"Oh god. Stop crying you wimp!" Namine whispered harshly and rolled her eyes as she leaned back into the damp, soft earth beneath her, feeling her hands sinking down.

"Hey." The boy next to her glared but Namine only rolled her eyes again. "She's scared. You should be too ya dumb bitch." He growled as the petit blonde girl lifted her hand and mimicked his scolding as if he were a puppet made of flesh.

"Oh fuck you Roxas." The blonde said loudly and glared right back at him.

"Seriously though guys...what are we gonna do? No one's supposed to come get us for another day." Zexion looked around at everyone else with a look of petrification. A branch cracked somewhere in the forest surrounding them and his head swiveled around helplessly. "What was that?! Someone's out there!"

"Zex! Don't be so scared! Nothing's gonna happen!" Demyx reassured him with a happy grin.

"Dude. Three people are dead. What the fuck do you mean every thing's gonna be ok?" The redhead towered above them, his arms crossed over his chest, staring at Demyx like he had a dent in his head, which was possible with Demyx. No one knew for sure. His mullet would've just covered it anyways.

"Well...I mean...maybe the killer won't try to kill us ya know?" The blue eyed blonde looked up at Axel with a smile and then patted Zexion's shoulder, making him feel somewhat at ease.

"You're an idiot." Namine said with a sigh and looked back into the flames.

"We can't just sit here all night!" Xion cried out dramatically, gaining everyone's attention.

"It's true. We should go and try to find the killer." Roxas said as he watched Xion wipe at her eyes again.

"What?! No! We should stay!" Zexion practically begged, shaking to the very core.

"I'm gonna have to agree with Zex on this." Axel said, looking at Roxas and Xion with disbelief. They wanted to go and _look_ for the psycho who had killed three of their friends?

"Yea this is totally boring." Demyx said with a sigh and stood up, wiping his pants off and then laying his hands on his hips as he gazed around at everyone with a grin.

"You're kidding." Axel said in shock as he watched him. "You're kidding!" He cried out as everyone else stood and began to follow Demyx into the woods.

"Come on Axel. You shouldn't stay here alone." Namine said with an overbearing smile as she grabbed his hand seductively and began to drag him along.

"You're right. You're completely right. We should _all_ stay here."

"Don't be such a wuss." Roxas said and rolled his eyes as he moved a branch out of his way, letting Xion pass under it before letting it snap back.

"Hey!" Zexion whined and reached up to cover the now throbbing, pine scented spot in his eye. "That hit me! That hit me Roxas!" He said with sudden bravery and distaste. However, Roxas only rolled his eyes again and scoffed.

"And?"

"Come on Zex! Just keep going alright?" Demyx said, that grin still on his face as he hovered above the significantly shorter boys shoulders.

"This is taking for_ever_." Namine said with a groan and a whimper. "Axel go find the killer and stop him so I can stop walking!" She whined nasally and shook his hand up and down.

"Namine, that's _ridiculous_." The redhead said with a heavy breath and rubbed the bridge of his nose with anxiety.

"She's right. We should split up." Roxas looked around at everyone, their faces only lit by the moonlight above.

"What?!" Axel shrieked alongside Zexion, one with terror, the other with terror that anyone could have such a stupid idea.

"If we split up, we can cover more area."

"If we split up, we'll be easier to kill you dumbass! We shouldn't have left the fire in the first place! Do you see how dark it is out here?! Do you realize how easy it would be for someone to sneak up on us?!"

"We'll cover more space Axel! It's simple science!" Xion cried out and Roxas nodded at her.

"I'll go with Xion."

"Shocking." Namine said as she crossed her arms and cocked her hip to the side. "I'll go with Axel!" She shouted out.

"Then Demyx and Zexion? You two go together."

"Alright, come on Zexy! Let's go find the killer and make 'em pay for what they did to Sora and Larxene and that one fat kid!"

"Pence?"

"Yea! Him too!" The lanky blonde boy dragged the terrified Zexion further into the forest, leaving the others behind.

"You guys are fuckin' nuts!" Axel yelled out. "I just...how can you all be so stupid! I feel like I'm in some horrible slasher flick!"

"Axel, don't be silly! This isn't some stupid story! This is real life!"

"Would anyone be this dumb in real life?" Namine looked up at him with widened eyes and shrugged, cracking her gum in the process. Axel rolled his eyes and groaned loudly in frustration. "Roxas, I really don't--" He looked behind him and groaned again. "They're gone. They're already gone." He sighed with aggravation as Namine giggled.

"Well then. Looks like it's just _me_ and _you_." The blonde said as she pressed her small body up against his, tinkling her fingers against his chest playfully.

"You know I don't think this is the time."

"Oh come on. It's always the time."

"See here's the thing though. Every time people do it in a horror movie, they die. The killer just comes and hacks them up while they're in the middle of it. They don't even get to finish."

"Then we better make it quick." She whispered with a malicious smile before standing on her toes and laying her lips onto his.

~0~

Xion followed closely behind Roxas, listening to every sound, making sure the cracking of twigs was beneath them and not someone else.

"R-Roxas?" She stuttered and he turned around quickly, a look of worry on his face that was slowly turned into a smirk. He grabbed her hand and pulled her closer, feeling her body practically against his as they walked further on. "I'm so scared." She said with a small whimper and once again had to wipe her eyes.

"It's ok." He said and turned to her. "I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. I promise." Roxas took her hands and wrapped his own around them. "I'm so strong and brave. Nothing will happen." His smile was sincere, his voice was calming and Xion immediately felt a little better,

"You're right. I'm being silly. Nothing's going to happen to me! Not as long as I'm with you." Xion's cheeks turned a light crimson as she looked up into his blue eyes, felt his fingertips graze against her cheek lightly. Their eyes closed as their lips met, barely perceptible through the cold caused numbness. "Oh Roxas." Xion said with a sigh of content as he enveloped her in his arms, nestling her head against his chest, letting her eyes stay closed.

"Xion." He replied with a contented sigh of his own. Suddenly, she heard screams. Her eyes shot open but she saw nothing, nothing but darkness.

"Roxas, what was that?!"

"That was Namine. I'd know that scream anywhere."

"Oh god! Namine! How--wait...what do you mean you'd know that scream--"

"This is not the time Xion!" He interrupted, putting his palm in her face as he looked around them, straining his eyes to see through the darkness. Xion's face grew cross as she watched him try to spy the murderer. "That other scream must've been Axel."

"What. You'd know that scream too?" She asked sarcastically.

"What? Pfft no!" Roxas laughed nervously, his eyes darting back and forth. "It's just uh...deduction! I mean if that was Namine and Namine was with Axel, the other scream would be Axel wouldn't it? It's not like I uh _know_ what Axel screaming sounds like. Axel's not a screamer. I mean I'm the bottom so I'm the screamer! No! I mean I have _never_ had sex with a dude!" Xion looked at him with an arched brow and an unconvinced gaze. "I mean uh...every thing's gonna be ok Xion. We should head that way. I'd bet the killer is over there." Roxas grabbed her hand and started to lead her towards where the screams were coming from.

"I'm not so sure we should go _to_ the screaming." Xion muttered, her terrified demeanor taking over.

"Come on Xion. Maybe we can save them!" Roxas assured her, trying to assure himself as well. The small raven haired girl nodded nervously and clinged to the boy's hand tighter.

"Wait. Roxas stop." Xion whispered with an edge, digging her nails into his wrist as she forced him to a halt.

"Ow! What the fuck?!"

"_Shut up_." She said, her eyes wide. Somewhere behind them, they both heard another figure come to a sudden stop. Branches snapped and leaves rustled and then the forest was motionless again. "_Oh god someone's following us." _Xion shook as Roxas turned around, looking above her head to see the trees, the shadows overcast the leafy ground.

"No. We're fine. It's probably...an animal?" He shrugged and began to drag her along behind him yet again. With each footstep, Xion could hear footsteps behind her get heavier and heavier, faster and faster.

"Roxas run!" She shouted and bolted forward, leaping in front of him and immediately dashing away.

"What?" The boy asked in confusion but it was too late. Xion heard the thump of a body hitting the ground, the whoosh of air leaving his lungs, the groans of struggle. "Help! Somebody help! Xion help me!" Roxas cried out and the tiny girl stopped and turned to watch as a dark figure twisted around on the ground with him, trying to pin him down. But there was nothing she could do. Her fear kept her cemented to the ground, barely able to breath, tears helplessly streaming down her face. And finally she heard Roxas grumble in pain and roll on his side, his hands groping his sides as he struggled to get up. The shadowed figure stood slowly and aimed what Xion could only guess was it's face at her. A black cloak, a hood coming down so low to cover it's face. "Xion..." Roxas moaned and desperately tried to reach her despite her being feet away. But the killer was too fast. They dramatically swooped down and sliced his throat wide open, a river of blood flowing forth onto the earth.

"No...no!" Xion screamed at the top of her lungs and shrieked as she pressed her palms against her cheeks in horror. The killer slowly began to walk towards her but Xion got over her screaming at once and began to run again. She wept as she sprinted through the woods. "_Oh god please please oh god!"_ Xion panted and hissed as she kept running, until she tripped. Of course. "No!" She screeched and looked behind her. But no one was there. The killer was gone. Xion gasped for air as she continued to sob and bring her knees up to her chest. Alone in the dark woods with a killer on the loose.

_Fun, wholesome, teenage weekend retreat my ass._

Xion thought bitterly as she dabbed away her tears and looked around nervously.

~0~

"Demyx...?" Zexion asked nervously as he looked for the blonde who had seemed to disappear. He was just there a minute ago...

"Boo!"

"AAH! NO!" Zexion yelped out as he whacked Demyx across the face and started to run.

"Ouch! Zexion!" The blonde boy whined and cupped his face in agony.

"Oh god! Sorry! But you scared me!" The shorter boy quivered under his hoodie and wrapped his arms around himself. Looking around anxiously, he thought he saw something and shivered again.

"Don't be such a scaredy cat Zex! Every thing's fine!" Demyx said bravely as he marched forward and leaned his elbow against a tree.

"Demyx! People _died!"_ Zex cried out but immediately covered his mouth and looked around with widened eyes.

"You know who you remind me of? Shaggy! Shaggy and Scooby are like always scared and it always turns out to be nothing. I would've said you remind of Scooby but I figured that'd be rude considering you're not a dog and all right? Would you have been offended if I had compared you to Scooby?"

"Are...are you serious?" Zexion asked in disbelief.

"I mean I wouldn't mind being compared to Scooby but I think that's just because I liked Scooby so much." The blonde swung around the trunk, disappearing behind the tree. "Did you ever watch Scooby Zexion?"

"Um yea. Sometimes?"

"I think it was a great show. A real masterpiece." Demyx reappeared as he ran his hand along the gigantic trunk, moving his skin against the bark. Zexion was at a loss for words. He could be killed at any moment and the last conversation he would have was going to be...about Scooby Doo. "I mean, honestly! It was _sooo _good!" The lanky blonde was gone again. "What do you think Zex? What was your favorite show?"

"I don't...know. Rugrats?" His only response was the howl of the wind. "What? No critique?" Zexion asked with a small grin, but again there was no human response. "Demyx?" His voice grew slowly more disturbed. "I really don't want you to jump out and scare me again!" No answer. Zex swallowed heavily and slowly strode forward. "I'm...serious." He cautiously peered around the bark and saw the blonde hair. "Demyx! I told you I didn't want you to scare me!" Zexion angrily yelled at the boy and made his round to where Demyx stood. But Demyx wasn't standing. His body slumped against the tree, a knife pushed into his stomach, red goo dripping down his tee shirt. "OH GOD! OH GOD NO!" Zexion screamed out and instantly started running in the opposite direction. His legs pumped faster than ever before. His lungs burned. He felt as if he were about to pass out. And finally he almost did.

Zexion fell backwards and laid on the ground for a minute, letting his eyes refocus until he felt like he needed to run again from a killer. If he could just keep running til dawn he'd be fine. He'd be ok. Finally, his eyes were slightly blurred and he realized something white was hovering above him. An angel? Had he already been killed? Zex rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times before registering completely that the white silhouette above him was a body, a limp corpse tied between two branches, head hanging loosely from a loose neck.

"Namine!" Zexion gasped and stood up quickly, peering above him at the body. He felt tears start to fall. So many people were dead. He was probably the last one and he surely wouldn't live. He cried softly and hung his head in shame where his eyes fell upon another body. Axel's tall body sprawled across the ground, blood running from his mouth. "Oh no..." Zexion whispered and a new wave of tears hit him. He screamed out when he heard leaves rustle and turned quickly, ready to swat anyone who dare came near him.

"Zexion! Calm down! It's just me."

"Xion! You're still alive!" Zexion ran to her and wrapped his arms around her, swinging her around in his glee to see another living person.

"Zexion! Yea I know I'm glad you're alive too! But we need to get out of here Zex! We need to leave!" He set the small girl down and nodded at her.

"Right. We should go."

"We just need to get to the road and then we'll be--" But Xion didn't get to finish her plan as an axe was swung deep into her back. Her eyes rolled in the back of her head and she fell against the now horrified Zexion.

"Xi...Xion?!" He cried out and shook her drastically. Zexion looked up with horror, terrified to meet the gaze of the one who had killed so many people.

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So! Who does everyone think it is?! Dun dun dun! Yea I know crappy spot for a note thing, but I wanted a pause thing before the big reveal! So yea know, here it is.

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k done I promise!

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A black hood slowly uncovered a smirk covered in blood, a long nose and bright green eyes. "A-Axel? You....you're dead!"

"Nuh uh uh!" Axel chuckled and wagged his finger in Zexion's confused face. He wiped some blood from the corner of his mouth and wiped it against his tongue. "Mm mm! Who doesn't like ketchup eh?"

"Ketchup? It was...ketchup?"

"Well duh. I wasn't gonna actually make myself bleed. And I sure as hell wasn't gonna wipe someone else's blood on me. That's disgusting Zexion." Axel said with his same smirk as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"You _killed_ our friends!" Zexion shouted in anger.

"Zexion Zexion..." The redhead shook his head from side to side. "They were not our friends."

"You killed Demyx! And Namine! And Xion! And Sora and Larxene and Pence!"

"And Roxas, don't forget Roxas."

"Why Axel?!"

"They were all so _stupid_. I warned them! I warned each and every one of them. 'Gee guys, don't ya think we should stay together? Don't you think we shouldn't go looking for the killer? Don't you think we should stay near the fire, the light?!'" Axel screamed.

"What did they ever do to you?!"

"I couldn't stand their stupidity anymore! Xion was just too naive. Namine was just a dumb slut. Sora, moron. Larxene, moronic bitch who _thought_ she was sneaky. Pence, fat, happy idiot. And Demyx? Well I mean come on. It's Demyx. I was just putting him out of his misery." The redhead smirked again.

"And what about Roxas?" His smirk disappeared and he put up a stiff upper lip.

"Roxas deserved it. Just trust me."

"Axel...please don't kill me."

"What?!" He laughed loudly, reverberating off the trees in the darkness. "I'm not gonna kill you! You were the only reasonable one! You were the only smart one."

"I just--"

"It's ok Zexion. Look, the sun's coming up. The pick up should be here soon. The road is right over there, right past that clearing. See it?" Axel hovered above his shoulder and pointed forward. "Just tell them what happened. Well besides me being the killer right?" He laughed again. "Just tell 'em I got killed too."

"But they'll think I did it!"

"You're smart! You'll figure it out!"

"But...what are you going to do?"

"Me? Well, I'm gonna go across the country, around the world, ridding it of stupidity." Axel looked out at the sun slowly coming up and nodded before walking in the opposite direction. Zexion watched him walk until he was just a speck in the morning sun.

"What...the fuck just happened?"

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lololol obviously, this was a big spoof on slasher flicks. It was not meant to be taken seriously. It was just a big joke. The characters were way too exaggerated, the ending was stupid, the whole thing was pretty dumb. But hey, gimme a break. It's like 3 in the morning and I've been trying to finish this foooooooreverrrrrr. Anyways, I hope some of you got a laugh out of it at least! PS - I am really obviously not a horror writer, more like a whore writer lololol! I'm not even a good spoof horror writer -__-' Oh well, I'll go back to writing my angsty depressingness now. ^_^


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